It's Monday and I started the day with a good cry to Todd. I'm feeling frustrated and burnt out. I don't want to go to radiation today.... I don't want to drive there, park, walk to the clinic, lay on the table, lather up with balm, etc... I want to wear a bra again. I don't feel like this weekend gave me the time to recover. My skin is red and kind of bumpy and I developed some small blisters. I'm having pain radiating down my arm and my muscles/tissues are sore and tight. My breast is still sore and swollen. And, I don't want to feel tired this week!!
I'm just feeling sick of it today! Two more weeks of radiation... and then on to the 4 weeks of daily interferon at UW, which is going to be harder than this. I need to muster up some positive energy, but today I think I just get through the day.
On another note, there is a dad I know from New Morning (Drew's preschool) who is having a craniotomy to operate on a brain tumor. He has two beautiful daughters and a wonderful wife. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers this week. (I believe his surgery is on Wednesday.)
Kim
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I am sorry you are sad and tired today. I think it is more than ok for you to cry and have a day like today. One day at a time, tomorrow will be better. Mondays suck! I miss you always.
ReplyDeleteI agree... I think we all push ourselves so hard to BE something- happy, healthy, curageous... and sometimes there is great wisdom and stregnth in just allowing what IS the space to BE. I'm glad you had a good cry today, and I'm glad you found comfort with Todd. You've got a line of people with shoulders ready, arms outstretched, and hankies in hand. Don't be afraid to use them...
ReplyDeletelove you girl. Let us know if you need a hand this weekend. Drew can come get some of his boy energy out...!
Hi Kim,
ReplyDeleteJust checking in to your blog and seeing that you had a hard week. There must have been something in the cosmos on Monday...I felt drained, too, though probably nothing like you having to drag yourself to therapy all week.
Just wanting you to know that I'm sending you love, light and energy on this Valentine's Day.