So, I had the CAT scan today to check that spot on my right lung and it came back normal. YEAH! I always love it when I get good news! :) (I was happy that I didn't have a ton of waiting today for my appts., too!) My past two CAT scans have both revealed that I apparently have a kidney stone just hanging out in my kidney. But, it's nothing we're going to do anything about since it's not causing any problems(first things first, right?).
I stopped down and talked to the Radiotherapy folks today to have them look at my skin. I have developed radiation-induced dermatitis. Basically, I have three patches that have become deep red, blotchy, and really itchy. Although they have told me that the radiation will continue to work for 1-2 weeks, I am noticing some slight improvements in some areas... the small blisters all over are clearing up, for example. The blistered skin on my neck is slowly but surely improving, but it's still the most painful area. I'm just very happy that the radiation is OVER (as of Tues.) and the healing can begin.
Inteferon starts on Monday. Everyone keeps preparing me for the worst, but I'm just staying positive and plan on just dealing with the side effects as they come. I have a freezer full of meals from all our wonderful friends and family, which is so awesome... thank you again!!!!
One day at a time...
love,
Kim
Friday, February 27, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Moving forward...
Yesterday, I met with Dr. Albertini to discuss starting inteferon. I first had lab work (came back normal). I also had a chest x-ray. The chest x-ray revealed a small, subtle spot on my right lung. The doctors are not too concerned about it because it is so faint. It showed up on my front to back x-ray, but not on my side x-ray. When I got home yesterday, I called Dr. Albertini to remind him that I had a chest x-ray prior to my surgery. He called me back and said that he compared the two chest x-rays and there was no spot on my right lung two months ago. So, next week, I will have another CT scan to rule out anything on my lung.
So, we discussed the inteferon. I guess I will be getting a heavy duty dose, so the doctors are preparing me for the worst... basically a month of having a bad case of the flu and being exhausted. The treatments will last 40 minutes each day. And, then, I will have weekly labs and visits with Albertini to monitor how things are going. After getting the whole run down from a room full of doctors, I said, "O.K., so now tell me something POSITIVE!" The doctors are all about preparing for you for the worst, which is quite draining to sit there and listen to. Dr. Albertini said the positive was that I am doing the absolute best thing to prevent the cancer from coming back.
Radiation is almost done... only two treatments left! I'm experiencing a lot of discomfort. My skin is really red and raw. My skin is blistering in the creases of the skin on my neck, which is very uncomfortable and woke me up a lot last night. The radiation will continue working for a week after my treatment ends. My doctor said my skin might get worse before it gets better. So, I'm prepared to deal with the discomfort and inflammation for another week or so and then on to healing. :)
My treatment starts on Monday, March 2nd. So, now we begin preparing for that month... meals, childcare, etc.. It's so hard to know what to expect and how much help we will need. Todd is considering taking a little time off of work (maybe a few half days or something). My mom will also be staying with us the first week. I am also going to meet with an Acupunctuist to help manage the side effects... hopefully it will help!
So, that's the update on the next phase of my treatment. Please continue to keep our family in your thoughts and prayers!
Much love,
Kim
So, we discussed the inteferon. I guess I will be getting a heavy duty dose, so the doctors are preparing me for the worst... basically a month of having a bad case of the flu and being exhausted. The treatments will last 40 minutes each day. And, then, I will have weekly labs and visits with Albertini to monitor how things are going. After getting the whole run down from a room full of doctors, I said, "O.K., so now tell me something POSITIVE!" The doctors are all about preparing for you for the worst, which is quite draining to sit there and listen to. Dr. Albertini said the positive was that I am doing the absolute best thing to prevent the cancer from coming back.
Radiation is almost done... only two treatments left! I'm experiencing a lot of discomfort. My skin is really red and raw. My skin is blistering in the creases of the skin on my neck, which is very uncomfortable and woke me up a lot last night. The radiation will continue working for a week after my treatment ends. My doctor said my skin might get worse before it gets better. So, I'm prepared to deal with the discomfort and inflammation for another week or so and then on to healing. :)
My treatment starts on Monday, March 2nd. So, now we begin preparing for that month... meals, childcare, etc.. It's so hard to know what to expect and how much help we will need. Todd is considering taking a little time off of work (maybe a few half days or something). My mom will also be staying with us the first week. I am also going to meet with an Acupunctuist to help manage the side effects... hopefully it will help!
So, that's the update on the next phase of my treatment. Please continue to keep our family in your thoughts and prayers!
Much love,
Kim
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
My own personal rollercoaster...
Man, my life is going through some ups and downs lately. Yesterday, I was having a great day and feeling really positive and happy. Then, as I was waiting in my car to pick Avery up from school, I was reading one of Deepak Chopra's books on healing. He started describing a man who had melanoma. His decription of melanoma and the prognosis for melanoma patients, even when treated to the maximum, was very grim and scary. In reading this, my heart started to race, my palms sweat, my stomach knot, etc... It brought all the fear that I experienced two months ago back to the forefront for me. I reminded myself that I am HEALED... they removed the cancer... my treatment is making sure it doesn't come back. I reminded myself of my confidence in my body and that my intuition tells me they got it all and it won't return. I will live a long and happy life! It really set me back, though, and I'm working my way through it.
Radiation is kicking my ass this week. 5 weeks of daily radiation... I guess it makes sense to be experiencing the side effects! I have the bad sunburn they told me I would get with small, itchy blisters and swelling. I am also very fatigued... I was happy to rest for about an hour and a half today when both kids were at school.
I saw my PT today and we both agreed that we need to take a break until my skin and tissue have some time to heal. We'll resume when radiation is over (next Tuesday!!!). The good news is that, even though I didn't see her for over a week, my range of motion has greatly improved. Get this, I'm in the NORMAL range!!! :) I still have a ways to go... a lot of tightness and pain. But, I'm just appreciating how far I've come and I'm hopeful to make a full recovery!
I realized today that I'm also having some transition anxiety. Even though I'm SO happy to be almost done with radiation, I'm scared to start the interferon. But, on the other hand, I'm glad for the change of pace... new clinic, new people, etc... to break up the daily monotony! The interferon appts. will be longer than radiation. The "chemo clinic" is busy, too... lots of people getting their various forms of cancer treatment. And, of course, I worry about how my body will handle the interferon. I'm hoping popping a few tyelenol will do the trick! ;)
And, then there is the biggest fear... (and it takes a lot for me to say/write this) What if all of this doesn't work and the cancer returns!!! I do everything in my power to NOT GO THERE and focus on the present moment... the one where my body is strong... a healthy body free of cancer and disease! I'm choosing to plant healthy seeds, not toxic ones. But, the mind sure is a powerful thing!!
This week, my focus is going to be on getting lots of rest and taking care of my body. And, continuing to focus all my energy on things that are positive, loving, and healing!
Kim
Radiation is kicking my ass this week. 5 weeks of daily radiation... I guess it makes sense to be experiencing the side effects! I have the bad sunburn they told me I would get with small, itchy blisters and swelling. I am also very fatigued... I was happy to rest for about an hour and a half today when both kids were at school.
I saw my PT today and we both agreed that we need to take a break until my skin and tissue have some time to heal. We'll resume when radiation is over (next Tuesday!!!). The good news is that, even though I didn't see her for over a week, my range of motion has greatly improved. Get this, I'm in the NORMAL range!!! :) I still have a ways to go... a lot of tightness and pain. But, I'm just appreciating how far I've come and I'm hopeful to make a full recovery!
I realized today that I'm also having some transition anxiety. Even though I'm SO happy to be almost done with radiation, I'm scared to start the interferon. But, on the other hand, I'm glad for the change of pace... new clinic, new people, etc... to break up the daily monotony! The interferon appts. will be longer than radiation. The "chemo clinic" is busy, too... lots of people getting their various forms of cancer treatment. And, of course, I worry about how my body will handle the interferon. I'm hoping popping a few tyelenol will do the trick! ;)
And, then there is the biggest fear... (and it takes a lot for me to say/write this) What if all of this doesn't work and the cancer returns!!! I do everything in my power to NOT GO THERE and focus on the present moment... the one where my body is strong... a healthy body free of cancer and disease! I'm choosing to plant healthy seeds, not toxic ones. But, the mind sure is a powerful thing!!
This week, my focus is going to be on getting lots of rest and taking care of my body. And, continuing to focus all my energy on things that are positive, loving, and healing!
Kim
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Shifting to a brighter perspective
Last week was a rough week for me. In the beginning of the week, I felt frustrated, emotional, and burnt out. Then, on Thursday, I got the stomach flu! I was too sick to go to my radiation appt., so they will tack on another treatment at the end.
I realized that I needed to release and deal with some of my emotions about this whole process... grieve my pain (physical and emotional), my loss of control and freedom, my fears, etc.. I'm in a constant state of awareness of what is going on with my body and sometimes I just want to not notice or care and live my life "normally". So, I let myself go there... "lean into the sharp points" as Pema Chodron would say. Instead of hiding, escaping, ignoring, or covering up what I was thinking/feeling, I jumped in and dealt with it. I think it's slightly ironic that, in the midst of dealing with all of it, I physically got sick (coincidence?). Having the stomach flu (with aches, chills, etc..) also gave me a taste of what the inteferon may feel like, especially initially. (They have told me that I will feel like I have a mild-moderate case of the flu.) Hopefully, I will be pleasantly surprised and have very mild symptoms.
By Friday, I was feeling physically well again and felt a shift back to a more positive attitude. This weekend was a great time for me to rest and really appreciate my family. Todd is really an amazing partner. Despite the stress of working and parenting (and doing a lot of extras, like laundry, making lunches for the kids, grcoery shopping, etc..), his love and support has been unconditional and unwavering. He is always striving to do what's best for the kids and I. It's easy to overlook and take it for granted, but this weekend, I was very aware of how lucky I am. (And, yes, we had a great Valentines Day!)
And, of course, my kids are amazing. They keep me laughing and overflowing with love... and occasionally pulling my hair out! But, I am so happy to have them in my life. Their beautiful faces are very good medicine/therapy for me!
As for the boring details... my skin is red (although not too painful) and I have developed some small, itchy blisters. I was not able to make it to PT all week due to scheduling conflicts and being sick on Thurs. But, I have still noticed increased range of motion. I think after the radiation, when the tissue has a chance to heal and not be so inflamed, I will see even more progress.
On another note, Todd and I are going to see Deepak Chopra speak in Madison on Feb. 23rd. Todd and I both have really gotten into Deepak's work regarding the mind/body connection in healing. He talks a lot about healing from cancer. In his book, Quantum Healing, he describes that when people feel strong and courageous, their body actually makes interferon, which fights off cancer cells! Deepak has been very instrumental in bringing awareness to the benefits of combining eastern healing practices (such as Ayurveda) with western medicine. He believes they both have a place in the healing process.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your continued love and support!
Kim
I realized that I needed to release and deal with some of my emotions about this whole process... grieve my pain (physical and emotional), my loss of control and freedom, my fears, etc.. I'm in a constant state of awareness of what is going on with my body and sometimes I just want to not notice or care and live my life "normally". So, I let myself go there... "lean into the sharp points" as Pema Chodron would say. Instead of hiding, escaping, ignoring, or covering up what I was thinking/feeling, I jumped in and dealt with it. I think it's slightly ironic that, in the midst of dealing with all of it, I physically got sick (coincidence?). Having the stomach flu (with aches, chills, etc..) also gave me a taste of what the inteferon may feel like, especially initially. (They have told me that I will feel like I have a mild-moderate case of the flu.) Hopefully, I will be pleasantly surprised and have very mild symptoms.
By Friday, I was feeling physically well again and felt a shift back to a more positive attitude. This weekend was a great time for me to rest and really appreciate my family. Todd is really an amazing partner. Despite the stress of working and parenting (and doing a lot of extras, like laundry, making lunches for the kids, grcoery shopping, etc..), his love and support has been unconditional and unwavering. He is always striving to do what's best for the kids and I. It's easy to overlook and take it for granted, but this weekend, I was very aware of how lucky I am. (And, yes, we had a great Valentines Day!)
And, of course, my kids are amazing. They keep me laughing and overflowing with love... and occasionally pulling my hair out! But, I am so happy to have them in my life. Their beautiful faces are very good medicine/therapy for me!
As for the boring details... my skin is red (although not too painful) and I have developed some small, itchy blisters. I was not able to make it to PT all week due to scheduling conflicts and being sick on Thurs. But, I have still noticed increased range of motion. I think after the radiation, when the tissue has a chance to heal and not be so inflamed, I will see even more progress.
On another note, Todd and I are going to see Deepak Chopra speak in Madison on Feb. 23rd. Todd and I both have really gotten into Deepak's work regarding the mind/body connection in healing. He talks a lot about healing from cancer. In his book, Quantum Healing, he describes that when people feel strong and courageous, their body actually makes interferon, which fights off cancer cells! Deepak has been very instrumental in bringing awareness to the benefits of combining eastern healing practices (such as Ayurveda) with western medicine. He believes they both have a place in the healing process.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your continued love and support!
Kim
Monday, February 9, 2009
rough day
It's Monday and I started the day with a good cry to Todd. I'm feeling frustrated and burnt out. I don't want to go to radiation today.... I don't want to drive there, park, walk to the clinic, lay on the table, lather up with balm, etc... I want to wear a bra again. I don't feel like this weekend gave me the time to recover. My skin is red and kind of bumpy and I developed some small blisters. I'm having pain radiating down my arm and my muscles/tissues are sore and tight. My breast is still sore and swollen. And, I don't want to feel tired this week!!
I'm just feeling sick of it today! Two more weeks of radiation... and then on to the 4 weeks of daily interferon at UW, which is going to be harder than this. I need to muster up some positive energy, but today I think I just get through the day.
On another note, there is a dad I know from New Morning (Drew's preschool) who is having a craniotomy to operate on a brain tumor. He has two beautiful daughters and a wonderful wife. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers this week. (I believe his surgery is on Wednesday.)
Kim
I'm just feeling sick of it today! Two more weeks of radiation... and then on to the 4 weeks of daily interferon at UW, which is going to be harder than this. I need to muster up some positive energy, but today I think I just get through the day.
On another note, there is a dad I know from New Morning (Drew's preschool) who is having a craniotomy to operate on a brain tumor. He has two beautiful daughters and a wonderful wife. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers this week. (I believe his surgery is on Wednesday.)
Kim
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Half way there!
So, yesterday was my half-way point with radiation... day 14 out of 28 treatments. My doctor told me today I was a "boring case"... in a good way, of course! :) This week is going very, very well. The past two weeks, I have been feeling fatigued, especially by Thurs. and Fri. But, my energy level has been great this week! (It helps that my whole family is healthy again!) I've also been going to bed earlier, too.
I've been having some discomfort and swelling in my right breast, which I guess is normal. My skin has also been getting progressively redder (and itchier). An herbalist (Alla Shapiro) I know generously offered to make me a balm to use after radiation. She made the balm for her mom who had radiation for breast cancer. The balm is amazing! My skin is noticeably less red and doesn't itch at all. It also feels and smells delicious! (If you're in need of creams or balms, let me know and I'll give you her contact info.)
Physical therapy continues to go very well. I'm amazed at the progression I've made with my PT... even in the course of a half hour! The pain is still excruciating, but the results make it worth it! Each time I see her, I experience a dramatic improvement in my range of motion.
On Friday, I'm having coffee with my new friend, Mary... who is on the same radiation schedule as me. It will be nice to chat and share our experiences with each other.
Thanks again for all the love and support. I'll keep you updated....
xoxo
Kim
I've been having some discomfort and swelling in my right breast, which I guess is normal. My skin has also been getting progressively redder (and itchier). An herbalist (Alla Shapiro) I know generously offered to make me a balm to use after radiation. She made the balm for her mom who had radiation for breast cancer. The balm is amazing! My skin is noticeably less red and doesn't itch at all. It also feels and smells delicious! (If you're in need of creams or balms, let me know and I'll give you her contact info.)
Physical therapy continues to go very well. I'm amazed at the progression I've made with my PT... even in the course of a half hour! The pain is still excruciating, but the results make it worth it! Each time I see her, I experience a dramatic improvement in my range of motion.
On Friday, I'm having coffee with my new friend, Mary... who is on the same radiation schedule as me. It will be nice to chat and share our experiences with each other.
Thanks again for all the love and support. I'll keep you updated....
xoxo
Kim
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)